---------------------Nanny Net News-------------------
A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners
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June 2006
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This newsletter is distributed by subscription only.
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IN THIS ISSUE
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> A Note from the Editor
> Enter to Win a
$50 Gift Certificate to Dragontailbaby.com
> Does Nanny Training Really Matter? By Anne Merchant
> Meet INA's 2006 Nanny of the Year
> Ask the Experts: Q & A's
> Industry News
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A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:
Hello Everyone,
I know you will enjoy this month's issue. We have a
compelling article (the first of a two part series) on
the effects of professional training for nannies by Anne
Merchant. Anne is the founder of Childcare Educational
Institute Inc. (childcaredegree.org) a non-profit internet
based childcare training service where nannies can earn
college credits from home. For any of you interested in
furthering your education in the childcare field, you should
really take a look at her site and curriculum.
On an exciting personal note, I was recently sworn in as a
new board member for the International Nanny Association. I
will be co-chairing the Public Relations and Internet Committees.
As one of my newly assigned PR duties, I am included news on
this year's INA Nanny of the Year award recipient,
Becky Kavanagh. Becky has been a nanny for 16 years for one
family. Her story is both impressive and inspiring.
I know you will enjoy it.
And, on a sober note, I came across some important safety
tips for women. Since most of our readers are women, many
of them single women living alone, I thought I would pass
these tips on to you. I'm not a big fan of reading this
kind of stuff, a little creepy I know, but it offers some
good advice to all you kind hearted nannies and moms out there.
Lastly, we have some more great advice from our panel of
experts on everything from starting with a new family to
leaving a family you've grown to love.
Happy Dad's day to all the dads on our list.
See you next month.
Deborah Smith
Editor
Nanny Net News
Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com
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Does Nanny Training Really Matter?
By Anne Merchant
PART ONE OF A SERIES ON NANNY EDUCATION
A Love of Children + Childcare Experience =
Quality Childcare…Right?….Wrong!… Not According
to the Current Research.
In the past, quality childcare was something that parent's
didn't give much thought to, especially since when childcare
was needed, there was usually an available aunt, grandparent,
or someone such as the daughter of a trusted neighbor that had
experience caring for children.
Instead of knowledge, quality was measured by the "familiarity
factor", or how well we knew and liked the person caring for
our child. The notion of "childcare skills" or the caregiver's
knowledge of growth and development simply wasn't a common
consideration when choosing who would care for your child.
Things began to change in the 1980's as mothers entered the
workforce in droves and it became clear that the trend wasn't
going to change. Economically, households that had become used
to earning two incomes weren't able to do with anything less
while at the same time, the demographics and the media had
increased society's awareness that a nanny or a daycare center
were a necessary part of modern life for two-income households.
During this same time period mothers became more educated than
ever before and as many of them spent eight to twelve hours a day
apart from their children, the issue of quality childcare became
more and more important. That, combined with the (quality
childcare) research, plus the fact that our society believes
in "value for the dollar" and "getting what we pay for" created
a shift in the way parents view the credentials of those that
make a living caring for other people's children.
The media, the human resource offices at the workplace and the
research has all influenced the way parents evaluate the
"quality" question. The "familiarity factor" as well as other
paradigms once held as true, no longer matter. Now quality
childcare is measured by the education of the person caring
for the child. The research is telling parents that those
without early childhood education are less likely to
provide "quality care". That is not to say that there aren't
innumerable nannies and even sitters that have warm, nurturing
relationships with the children they care for, but alone this
will not lay the groundwork for the child's capacity for future
learning.
Today's nannies, just as the nurses of the 1900's, will have
to adapt, grow and develop as their profession matures. When
Florence Nightingale started caring for the sick, there were no
training requirements. Today, there are no nanny training
requirements. Anyone can call herself a Nanny. This is
changing.
LOOK FOR THE RESEARCH & PART TWO NEXT MONTH
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INA Names Nanny of the Year
New Orleans, LA May 2006 - She doesn't have a cape or
sporty hat. She doesn't speak with an English accent
or send children to the "naughty chair." But, for 16
years Becky Kavanagh has been taking care of other
people's children and she's been doing a better than
prime time job. On May 23rd, Becky Kavanagh was named
The International Nanny Association's Nanny of the Year
at its 21st Annual Conference held in New Orleans.
What does it take to be Nanny of the Year? Officially,
it takes at least 5 years of professional nanny experience;
it takes education in the field of child care, a nomination
from an agency or employer, and several references. Unofficially, it
takes a whole lot of love and patience, not only with kids
but with parents too. "More than anyone else in my life
Becky has taught me how to be the father I hoped and dreamed
I would be. For me she has been the "owner's manual" that
children don't come with." said Paul Kunkel, Becky's employer.
A former lead preschool teacher and day care assistant director,
Kavanagh has been a career nanny with the same family for over
sixteen years. "Alec, who is 16 1/2 was 6 weeks when I started -
Cassie, 19, had just turned 3." Becky recalls. She has been a
member of the INA since November, 1989 and passed the INA Nanny
Credential Exam. In 1998 Parents Magazine recognized Becky as
one of their childcare award recipients.
"She has a presence that somehow always communicates a sense
of her absolute confidence in us, not only at every dance
recital and orchestra concerts, but every day. I have a deep
and tremendous respect for Becky, and I consider myself
profoundly lucky to have had her as my nanny." offered Cassie
Peitzman, Becky's oldest charge.
Becky was nominated for Nanny of the Year by Mary O'Connor of
Nannies from the Heartland, a Plymouth MN based placement
agency in which Kavanagh works part time as a placement
counselor. The selection committee had this to say,
"Becky stood out because she has been with one family from
birth to teen years. On top of this, she saw the family
through divorce and the blending of two households, all
the while staying very active in the nanny community and
in home child care industry on a local, regional and national
level. She is a totally selfless and giving person."
For the past two years, Kavanagh has served as the President
of her local nanny group, Twin Cities Professional Nannies (TCPN).
She has been an editor and contributor to the TCPN newsletter
for over four years. She is an active volunteer in Girl Scouts
as a troop leader for two troops, event chair and in the
leadership level in Prairie Star Service Unit, and was awarded
the Outstanding Leader and Valued Volunteer honor.
Safety Tips for Women
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest
point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans.
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT
HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you...chances are that
the thief is more interested in your wallet and/or purse
than you and will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD
IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick
out the back tail lights. Stick your arm out the holes and
start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but
everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after
shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing
their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!)
The predator will be watching you and this is the perfect
opportunity to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to
your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET
INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE. If someone is in
the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into
anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you.
If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst
of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better
than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot,
or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the
passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from
the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by
pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting
to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat
nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall or
your work location and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (Better paranoid than
dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells
are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This
is especially true at NIHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target)
four in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a
vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may
get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-
looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of
unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane or a limp and often
asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which
is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend
heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she
called the police because it was late and she thought it was
weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the
door." The woman then said that it sounded like the baby had
crawled near a window. She was worried that it might crawl into
the street and get hit. The police officer said, "We already
have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."
He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry
recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking
that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified
it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear
baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.
(These tips were passed along to me via email. The baby crying
incident may be more web folklore than true fact. I really don't
know. But now that the idea is out there, there may be copy cats
and I thought it worth passing along.)
Ask the Experts
Q: I am a new nanny who just started working a week ago. Do you have
any advice on how I can get two boys, ages 3 and 5, to listen to me
and take me seriously? I tried time out and check charts, but those
only work for a short amount of time. What can I do to have them
respect me as a authoritarian?
A: It is never easy starting out with children when they are older and
a little more set in their ways but I think you have to put yourself
in their shoes and ask yourself what would make you feel more secure?
They don't know you yet and until they know you, they
are not going to be great at taking direction from you.
Every child is different and so not knowing what the
situation is, (Did their old nanny leave, how long
had she been there, Have they been through lots of nannies?) it will
simply take some time.
Time outs and check charts might work in a few months but right now
you need to get to know these children. My advice to you is to get to
know the children and build a rapport with them. Ask them questions.
Ask them what the rules are in their house? Ask them why the rules are
important?
For example:You could say something like, Since I am new , I would
like to know about the rules you have in your house.
Can you tell me about some of the rules?
and if they can't, give them some ideas, like:
Do your parents let you jump on the furniture?
Why isn't that a safe thing to do?
but give them a chance to tell you about their world,
and how they see it, and what rules stick out in their minds. If
you let them be a part of the transition and let them feel that they
are helping you, then you will have a better chance of succeeding when
it comes to introducing your rules because you have allowed them to
introduce you to theirs.You can't go into a new family with older
children and suddenly inherit 100% authority and not expect some bumps
in the road. (Trust me...my first job was with teenagers and that is
exactly how it happened) I also suggest that you find a book
that works for you that is the same philosophy that you have so that
you will have something to refer to when problems come up.
One of my favorites is "Stop Struggling with your Child" and I like it
because it is simple, common sense advice that helps you teach a child
to be independent.
Good Luck and I hope that helps.
Glenda Propst
Nanny/Employer Expert
Q: I am a full time, qualified nanny working in NYC.
I have been in my current post for 4 years, taking care of two
children aged 9 and 3 and a half. I have recently handed in my notice
as I will be moving back to the UK at the end of this summer. My
question is as to how and when we should break the news to the younger
child? She is very attached to me, as I have been her primary
caregiver since birth, and we know she will be very upset. She also
tends to be a bit of a natural worrier. How can we all handle the
situation in order to make it easier for her?
A: It is always difficult to leave a family and it is equally
difficult for a child to lose their nanny, especially one that has
been there long term.
A 3 1/2 year old does not comprehend time the way that an older child
does, so you need to be careful not to tell her too soon. It could
upset her even more.
I would suggest that wait until close to time for you
to go to tell her. I would not tell her more than a month ahead of
time. Once you tell her, you need to give her something that will help
her understand the concept of the time you will still be there, where
you are going and make sure that she understands that this is your job
and it is not her fault you are leaving. One idea a friend shared
with me was that she took her charge to Build A Bear, and
they made a special bear together. She put a recording of
her voice telling her she loved her, inside the bear and
told her that anytime she missed her to know that she still
loved her and she could always hug her bear when she was sad.
I thought this was a really great idea.
Here is a tip sheet for leaving a family. I would try to
implement some of these ideas into your plan for leaving.
Leaving a family: by Glenda Propst
These tips on how to survive leaving a family were part of
the "Gentle Transitions" workshop at the 1999 NAN Conference.
They were re vamped for the 2004 Conference.
Thanks to all of the great survivors out there who wrote to me and
shared their tips on how they got through it.
I hope this information is helpful to all nannies.
v Maintain Contact.
v If at all possible, take some time for yourself to
re-energize and clear your head. Try to avoid leaving a job on
Friday and starting a new one on Monday. Even if you can only
manage 2 or 3 days, take a break.
v Allow yourself to grieve. You have loved and cared
for these children. You have a right to be sad, you have a
right to feel a great loss and you need to grieve.
If you are moving away, you can send cards, or letters, or email.
Many nannies say that this is what helped them the most.
v Save some money out of your paycheck every week so that you
don't end up leaving a job with no prospects in sight and no
money in the bank.
v Take lots of pictures so that you will always be able to go
back and look at them.
v Make sure the children understand that it is not their fault
that this is happening.
v It is not their parents fault either, it is just something
that happened.
v Make sure that they understand that you will still love them
and that they will be in your heart and you will be in theirs always.
v Have your picture taken together so they will have a visual
memory of you with them.
v Keep one for yourself.
v Talk about the fun times you have had with them.
v Try to focus on the positive even the last few days.
v Make a memory book with them or for them (Make one for
yourself too)
v Have a special song that they can sing when they miss you, and
tell them when they sing it, know that you will be thinking of them
too. (You could also do this with a book)
v Keep in touch with them. In the beginning this is crucial for
all of you. As time goes by, it will get easier.
v Help them set up email accounts.
v Remember that the love you gave to these children is something
no one else could have ever given them, and no one else can take
away.
v Remember that a good nanny always works herself out of a job.
v Remember that these are not your children, and eventually you
will have to leave.
v Teach them that you have come to do a job, and your job is to
love them and care for them and teach them to be independent.
v Help them to understand that you will not be there forever but
you will always be in their lives and you will always love them.
v Remember that time is a great healer.
v Remember that as nannies our job is to help give them roots,
and those roots will always be there.
v Remember that you are a better person for loving them, as hard
as it is to let them go.
v Keep your correspondence and actions with your employers as
professional as possible up to the last day of employment. It is
tempting to reciprocate "ugliness" or "rudeness" with the same
behavior, but do not allow yourself to do that.
v Maintain your professionalism.
v Give your employers as much notice as possible in order to
help them find another nanny.
v You could also provide them with lists from local sources and
names of several people that have expressed an interest in the
position.
v If you will be in the same area, make friends with the new
nanny. If you like and respect the person who comes after you, it
will help you to know that those children are in good
loving hands.
v Remember that recovery from grief and loss is a zigzag. You
will have good days and bad days especially in the beginning.
v Let go of your pain and anger.
v Keep a journal
v Remember that love looks forward.
v Believe that what happens is what is meant to be, and there is
another wonderful family out there just waiting for you to come and
be a part of their lives too.
v When you start to interview again, don't try to compare one
family to another family. There is no way to measure one family
against another.
v Don't hold back on your love. As painful as the end can be,
remember what you learned from these children and how much you
gained from the time you spent with them.
v "The roots of love sink down and deep and strike out far, and
they are arteries that feed our lives, so we must see that they get
the water and sun they need so they can nourish us. And when you put
something good into the world, something good comes back
to you (Merle Shain)
v I would like to leave you with one final thought from the
movie "Hope Floats"
Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad. The best part is in
the middle and hope floats. You just have to wait for it to rise.
Good Luck
Glenda Propst
Nanny/Employer Expert
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Industry News and Information
Nannypalooza! '06: SAVE THE DATE!
When: Saturday, October 7th and Sunday, October 8th
Where: Philadelphia, PA
What: A 2 day conference for the nanny community featuring…
Cost: Registration includes all workshops sessions, Saturday lunch,
and Sunday breakfast buffet. Nannies attend for only $50,
businesses for only $75. Sponsors: Philly Nannies and National
Association for Nanny Accreditation (NANA) Join us for a weekend of
lively discussion, "learn today, use tomorrow" workshops, networking
plus a Saturday night out on the town. Send an email to
conference@NANAccreditation.org to receive Nannypalooza! updates.
Nanny Support Groups: Send us your press releases on upcoming events
for future newsletters to Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com, subject:
newsletter
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