|
---------------------Nanny Net News------------------------
A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners
-----------------------------------------------------------
Vol. 2, No. 1 November 2000
-----------------------------------------------------------
Deborah Smith, Editor
Parents With Nannies, Inc.
Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com
This newsletter is distributed by subscription only. If you
wish to unsubscribe, you can find instructions at the end of
this newsletter.
------------------------------------------------------------
IN THIS ISSUE
-----------------
> A Note from the Editor
> The Confident Woman
by Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz
Raising Confident Daughters
> ASK THE EXPERTS: Q & A
"My child is defiant with our new nanny, please help."
> Another Nanny Classifieds Success Story
------------------------------------------------------------
"I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty
but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging
as many honorable professions in the world and one that demanded
the best that I could bring to it."
Rose Kennedy
------------------------------------------------------------
Editor's Note:
Hi everyone,
Just a quick note to let you know what's happening on
4EverythingNanny. We have been slowly but surely building
up the database for our Agency Locator. If you own an
agency please submit your agency information right away.
If you work with an agency that you would recommend, please
forward this newsletter to them and let them know about
this free service.
OUR NEW AFFILIATES:
We are very excited to announce that we now have 8
NannyClassifieds.com affiliates. What does this mean?
Well, basically when you place an ad on NannyClassifieds.com
your ad now appears on 9 different websites. This
obviously increases an advertiser's exposure and their
chances of finding a nanny or a nanny job. Pretty cool
huh? Our affiliates create their own Nanny Classified Ads
pages by using a special template through our system and
then link to it from their websites.
Here is a list of our new affiliates.
The National Association of Nannies (NannyAssociation.com)
The Nanny Network, Inc.
ExecutiveMom.com
TheJerseyShoreParent.com
4EverythingNanny (of course :o)
LifeWithNanny.com
SpEdRights.com
DomesticSolution.com
You can check out their sites by visiting
http://www.nannyclassifieds.com/our_partners.htm
If you operate a nanny or parent related website and want
to offer a valuable service to your visitors as well as earn
20% commission on the ads you sell, send me an email at
affiliates@nannyclassifieds.com
WE NOW HAVE T-SHIRTS FOR THE KIDS
After many, many requests from parents and nannies, we have
finally added specialty t-shirts for the children in our lives.
We're very proud of our new designs and hope you will like them
as much as we do. You can check them out by following this URL.
http://www.4nanny.com/products.htm#KID'S T's
Be sure to get your order in as soon as possible to ensure
delivery before the holidays.
NOVEMBER SWEEPSTAKES
Children Are My Priority Watch
Enter to win a one of a kind timepiece designed by
Teresa Walsh©, premier artist in the world of teachers,
parents and charities. 13/8"- diameter gold-toned bezel
with second hand and quartz movement. Black leather
strap fits wrists up to 8". Arrives in a pouch, ready
to wrap, give and show your appreciation to your nanny
or yourself.
http://www.4nanny.com/Sweepstakes.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
This month's Book of the Month is a slight change of pace
for us but worthwhile none the less. I came across this book
while attending the National Association of Nannies convention.
The author was one of the speakers and after listening to her
inspiring presentation, I knew this book would be a
wonderful resource for all the overworked, stressed out moms
and nannies who subscribe to this newsletter and who are trying
to be everything to everybody in their lives. For our male
subscribers, I'm sure you have women in your lives who could
benefit from this wonderful exploration into finding confindence.
I have chosen an excerpt from The Confident Woman that discusses
ways we can positively influence the girls in our lives. Whether
your daughter, your charge, your niece, your goddaughter,
Ms. Shaevitz offers some wonderful advice on how to build confidence
in the girls we love.
"RAISING CONFIDENT
DAUGHTERS"
Our daughters have many more options and opportunities than
we have had. Fortunately, most of the discriminatory laws
and some of the negative attitudes about women have changed.
Some women have even internalized the "You've come a long
way, baby" advertisement and eschew any notions that there
is still work to be done.
When it comes to our daughters, however, the research says that
we haven't come as far as some might think. For example,
no matter their particular background, adolescent girls
* are still boy-crazy and measure their worth by how popular,
attractive, and cool they are, especially to members of the
opposite sex.
* are still striving for perfection as "the perfectly good
girl: someone whom everyone will promote and value and want to
be with"
* are still losing their "voices" (that is, being and doing
for others while sacrificing themselves) as they acquiesce to
the norms of Western culture, especially with regard to
idealized notions of beauty, body, and romance.
We have our confidence work cut out for us because of the
continueing subtle and not-so-subtle negative messages our girls
receive from home, from the sulture at large, from their peers,
through rock and rap music, and from magazines, movies, and TV
programs.
It would be presumptuous of me to try to say in a few words all
that could be said about raising confident daughters. That is
the subject for another book. But I would like to leave you with
a few thoughts about how you can be a positive influence in your
daughter's life:
BECOME A CONFIDENT WOMAN YOURSELF
You can do nothing more significant to inspire, teach, and support
your daughter to become a confident woman than to think and act
more like one yourself. A mother who has a strong sense of herself,
who takes good care of herself, who solves her own problems, who
competently handles life's challenges, who chooses to spend time
with loving, supportive people, who reads and is well educated,
who loves her work and yet takes time for herself, cannot help
but influence her daughter in important positive ways. Children
learn much less from what we say than from what we do with our lives.
Women can't really hope to change the way girls think about
themselves until they change the way they live their own lives.
MAKE YOUR DAUGHTER A PRIORITY
Not just in your mind but by your everyday actions, create the time
to make your daughter a top priority in your life. Spend time alone
with her, play with her, read to her, take her out to lunch, exercise
with her, listen to her; if she needs it, help her with schoolwork,
teach her how to do things, and encourage her to plan for college
and a career. Don't allow unimportant people and/or events to get in
the way.
To continue reading "Raising Confident Daughters"
go to http://www.4nanny.com/book_of_the_month_page2.htm
---------------------------------------------------------
A NANNY CLASSIFIEDS SUCCESS STORY
We have always gone through agencies to find our nannies.
So far, we are on nanny #7 ( and our oldest child is 6).
We have learned many lessons. As you can see, using an
agency does not prevent you from getting a nanny that
causes problems or is using the nanny position as a 6
month stint while they get their life together.
We found our new nanny within one week of placing
our ad on your site. We had about 8 candidates respond.
After having 6 nannies before, I feel comfortable with
the questions and "red flags" that may come up. She is
ready to give us a long term commitment, is highly recommended
and comes from a very loving family herself. She and I exchanged a
few emails and then phone calls. She then came to our house
to meet our family and my boys instantly loved her. As you
probably know, it is very important to watch how your children
react to prospective nannies. They seem to have a "sixth sense"
that we lose as adults.
I am very hopeful that our new nanny will be our best nanny ever.
It was so nice being able to screen the applicants on line and
not have to deal with the agencies phone calls and timing issues.
Using your service, I was comfortable that the person on line was
the person I was getting. I will definitely be referring
your site to my friends when they are in need of a nanny.
Again, thanks for your help.
Carol from CA
--------------------------------------------------------------
RECEIVE A FREE T-SHIRT: Have you successfully found a job or a
nanny through our website? If so, send us your success story
for use in an upcoming newsletter and we'll send you a free
4EverythingNanny.com T-Shirt.
----------------------------------------------------------
ASK THE EXPERTS: Q & A
Q: I notice my son being more defiant with this nanny as opposed
to previous nannies. How do I make the transition to our new
nanny easier for my kids and the new nanny? Can you offer a few
suggestions to make this transition easier?
A: I understand that you have a 5-year-old son who is having difficulty
adjusting to the new nanny. I am assuming you have already tried
talking with him, one-on-one, to find out how he feels about the nanny
and that this approach didn't work. I am also assuming you already
tried talking with the nanny, one-on-one, to get her take on the
situation. I am listing some questions to think about and some possible
ideas. Please forgive me if some of these questions and ideas seem
obvious or simplistic, since I don't know what you have already thought
about or already tried. I do think the trick here, is to figure out WHY
your son is acting inappropriately. Here goes:
1. Could your son be upset that the previous nanny is no longer
employed, and taking his feelings out on the new nanny? Little guys
often develop strong bonds with female caretakers and teachers.
(Somewhat like a "first crush.") They can be devastated when the
person leaves. This would be even more significant if mom is no longer
in the picture. He may feel abandoned. If you think he might be angry
or sad, perhaps you could spend some one-on-one time with him, and
during this time explain why the old nanny is no longer with you. Talk
about how sad you are, too, that the previous nanny is gone. Tell him
it is OK to feel sad or angry. Make sure he understands he didn't do
anything to make her leave. He will need to grieve this loss. Help him
find some closure to the situation. Perhaps he can send the old nanny a
picture he made and his photo so she will always remember him. Perhaps
he would like to keep a framed photo of her in his bedroom. (At some
point, he probably won't need it and HE will decide to put it away.)
There are some excellent children's books available in the library or
bookstore to help kids deal with losses and a lot of other situations.
In a non-threatening way, the stories help the listener identify with
another child's situation, then end up showing the listener how to deal
with their own situation. Usually, there is a page written for the
parent to understand how to use the book. Perhaps you might pick up one
or two and read them as part of his bedtime ritual. Your library
probably employs a children's librarian who can point you in the right
direction. One of my favorite resources for therapeutic children's
books is The Self Esteem Shop. Their phone number is 1-800-251-8336.
Their web is www.selfesteemshop.com. They offer children's books and
therapeutic toys on all types of situations.
2. Five-year-olds are often very interested in coming to the aid of
others. Perhaps you could help your son understand that the new nanny
wants to be a NEW friend, not take the place of the old nanny. What can
he do to make her feel like part of your family? (Be careful not to
make him feel too responsible or at all guilty about this, though. Try
to keep it upbeat and find fun ways he can welcome her into the family.
You can prevent him from feeling guilt and from taking full
responsibility by having each person in the family do something nice for
the new nanny.) Would he like to make her a special picture for her
room? Maybe a special placemat for her spot at the table? If he
prefers legos to crayons and paste, maybe he could build her a little
figure for her bedside table. (Use what ever he likes to do to draw
them together.)
3. Please do not take offense to this question, but, is it at all
possible that he feels jealous of the relationship you have with the new
nanny? This can happen even when there is absolutely no "romantic
relationship" going on between you. If jealousy is the issue,
whether it is founded or not, you will need to reassure him of your
love for him. Again, a heart-to-heart talk and
some special one-on-one quality time may do the trick. There are also
children's books on this issue.
4. Is there anything objectionable with the new nanny? Have you
observed your son with the new nanny? Have you done this when neither
one of them is aware you are watching? This might give you some real
insight into the problem. Perhaps their personalities just don't work
well together. I don't want to frighten you, but if there is an abusive
situation occurring, your son may be too afraid or simply unable to tell
you. (I am sure I don't need to mention that this is a situation that
will need to be handled swiftly and carefully to avoid any further
emotional damage.) You should be able to find the name of a child
advocacy agency in your phone book. You may prefer to call for
anonymous help until you feel comfortable you are dealing with an agency
you feel safe working with. Some of the best-intentioned friends and
others can do more harm than good. The child advocacy agency can walk
you through what steps you need to take to report the nanny and get help
for your son.
Best of luck!
Sandra
-----------------------------------------------------------
Look, mom, we went and gave you your own planet! You
will find all the latest for the work at home mom, stay at
home mom and the office moms! Plus find out more
information about raising infants, preschoolers and teens.
Be sure to enter our contest while you are there!
http://www.momplanet.com
Are You My Mommy?
-------------------------------------------------------
Kid Activity Idea
The other day I got a letter in the (snail) mail from one of
my friends. She had put together an eight-page newsletter
with her four-year-old son and eight-year-old daughter
complete with a book review, interviews with the children
and comics! What a great idea! That got me thinking about other
projects to do with children that encourage writing and
creativity.
One of my favorite little projects was my daughter’s first
“book” when she was three. She was just learning to use
scissors and she cut a few of her favorite pictures out
of a magazine – babies, kittens, and toys. I glued the
pictures onto a piece of cardboard and folded it in half.
Voila!
You can do the same with extra family photos, ticket stubs,
or postcards from a family vacation. For the older kids,
using Paint on the computer provides hours of fun. My nine-year
old created a comic about a hedgehog. While he was having fun,
he was learning about fonts, cutting and pasting, and saving
his work in .gif format in his own file.
After the “book” is completed, add the title page, put the
pages in order and bind together using a stapler or punching
holes and tying it together with yarn. You may even want to
laminate your child’s creation.
For more news and information visit http://www.preksmarties.com
the parents' resource for teaching babies, toddlers and
preschoolers at home with tips for early reading and educational toys.
------------------------------------------------------------
Get $20 in FREE Gifts for Your Child from Brighter Vision
Learning Adventures (TM) that Child Magazine highlights as
a "gotta-have 'em, can't live without 'em" parent product!
Brighter Vision invites you to try out the LEARNING ADVENTURES
program with a free shipment of educational books and activities
that are worth over $20. Get fun, educational, and age
appropriate activities designed to prepare your child aged
1 through 6 for success in school. Click here for this free offer!
http://www.learningadventures.com/4nanny-DXT4
------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you have enjoyed this month's issue of Nanny Net News.
HAVE A VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST HERE?
See you next month.
************************************************************
Copyright - 1999-2000 Parents With Nannies,Inc.
(www.4EverythingNanny.com)
Please feel free to pass this e-zine along to your friends.
However, we ask that you keep it intact and forward it in its
entirety.
To unsubscribe send a blank email to
NannyNetNews-unsubscribe@egroups.com
To subscribe send a blank email to
NannyNetNews-subscribe@egroups.com
|
