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---------------------Nanny Net News------------------------
A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners
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Vol. 1, No. 12 October 2000
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Deborah Smith, Editor
Parents With Nannies, Inc.
Deborah@4EverythingNanny.com
This newsletter is distributed by subscription only. If you
wish to unsubscribe, you can find instructions at the end of
this newsletter.
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IN THIS ISSUE
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> A Note from the Editor
> 101 Ways to Soothe a Crying Baby
by J. Peinkofer, A.C.S.W./L.C.S.W.
> Are You My Mommy?
by Deborah Smith, Editor
> ASK THE EXPERTS: Q & A "Do I pay overtime?"
> Success Story
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"Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the
world is done by children."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Editor's Note:
First, let me apologize for being 2 days late with this
newsletter. I was in San Francisco until late Sunday night
attending the National Association of Nannies annual
conference.
For those of you who know nothing about the National Association
of Nannies and what they do, check out their website at
www.NannyAssociation.com. This organization does a phenomenal
job at supporting nannies and promoting the profession
and their conference is one of the best I've ever attended.
If you are a nanny, make it your goal to attend next year's
convention in Atlanta. You will be so glad you did. Not only
will you meet other nannies from all over the country, you will
come away more educated, energized and enthusiastic toward your
job and your profession than you ever thought possible.
And for the parents reading this newsletter, please encourage
your nanny to join NAN and to attend the conferences. There
were many nannies in San Francisco whose employers paid to send
them there. These nannies raved about their jobs and their "families"
and were so appreciative for the respect and validation
their employers showed them by sending them to the conference.
And do you know something, these employers are very smart.
They know that their nannies will come home with a renewed
determination to be the best nannies they can be.
Just to give you a peek at the caliber of content here is a
run down of the itinerary for the 2 days.
* Helping Young Children with their Parent's Divorce
* Keynote Address: Ms. Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz, Author of
"The Confidant Woman"
* Discipline: "The Development of Self Control
* Creating Imagination in a Child
* Responsive Infant Care
* Childcare Pre-employment Screening: Personnel Attitude
Questionnaire
* Parent/Infant Communication through American Sign Language
Dr. Joseph Garcia Author of "Sign with Your Baby"
* Keynote Speaker: Dr. Deborah Davis, Ph.D.
"The ABC's of the Nanny Profession: Model for the Nation"
* Trustline: What is it? How does it work? Mary Beth Phillips
Even though my career as a nanny ended 14 years ago, I found every
speaker to be fascinating and all the information was equally important
and educational to me as a parent. For more information on the conference
see NAN's website.
THE WINNER OF OUR SEPTEMBER SWEEPSTAKES
Emily Loria of Prescott, AZ
Congratulations Emily! You've won a Free "Farm Fun Series"
Activity Set courtesy of FUNFELT.com. A representative
from FunFelt.com will be contacting you to arrange for
delivery.
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101 Ways to Soothe a Crying Baby
by J. Peinkofer, A.C.S.W./L.C.S.W.
This adorable, hard cover book makes a great gift for new
mommy or nanny. Here are 10 tips to help soothe your
fussy one.
1. Watch what foods you eat if breastfeeding.
Your baby may react unfavorably when you eat certain foods.
Avoid spicy food or foods known to be a family allergy.
Avoid stimulants, such as caffeine. Alcohol should never
be consumed.
2. Change a Bottle's Nipple Size or Type
A nipple that doesn't keep up with a hungry baby's demands
can cause a lot of frustration. Getting too much milk at
once can cause a baby distress as well. Check the
appropriateness of a nipple's hole, and make sure the nipple
does not regularly collapse.
3. Gently "Bicycle" Your Baby's Legs
This motion helps your baby relieve gas pain.
4. Change your Baby's Position to Relieve Gas
Simply moving your baby into a different position can help
him or her relieve excess gas.
5. Check if Your Baby is too Cold
Temperature is a very important issue in keeping your baby
comfortable and soothed. A baby's skin is very tender. If
your baby's skin feels cold to the touch, try warmer clothes.
6. Massage Your Baby
A gentle massage on your baby's back, arms, and legs can be
comforting. There are many books and workshops on infant
massage. Learn what you can, and use these techniques on
your baby.
7. Make Happy Eye Contact
Connecting eye-to-eye during a time of crying can distract
your baby. Don't get too close or too far away, as young
babies have a visual range of around one to two feet. Stay
happy - your baby will be happy too!
8. Blow Gently on Your Baby's Forehead
Wide-open-mouth crying generally can be lessened through
gentle blowing on our baby's forehead. The sensation of
breath can cause your baby to stop and take a breath.
9. Hum in Low Tones Against Your Baby's Head
Dads have an advantage with this soothing feature. Hum
in low, soft tones that resonate through your baby's skull.
This humming is very lulling to a baby and makes a great
bonding activity.
10. Turn the lights off
Babies can be soothed simply by providing some "mood lighting."
Dim lights create a soft environment that can help your baby
be at peace.
To Order the
Book
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Are You My Mommy?
Becoming a mother is probably one of the most emotionally
charged experiences of a woman's life. Supercharge those
emotions with feelings of anxiety associated with leaving
your child in the care of another and many mothers, I'd say
most mothers, are faced with twinges of doubt, guilt and even
envy toward the caregiver who gets to spend the whold day
with your adorable baby.
It is very common and natural to feel some competition with
your caregiver. Siblings experience competitive emotions when
a new baby is brought into the house. Even spouses sometimes
feel they are in competition for their child's love. Whether
you drop your baby off at a daycare center or you employ
a Nanny in your home, there will be times when you will feel
"hey, am I number one?"
Now, I will let you in on a little secret that I hope will
alleviate some of your fears of being replaced. Shhh, it's a
secret most nannies know and any experienced mom will tell you.
Here it is, are you ready? Mommies are irreplaceable and your child
holds a very special place in his or her heart for you. One nanny
of 15 years put it this way "In 15 years of caring for
infants-toddlers and preschoolers I have never had an instance where a
child didn't know and prefer his/her mommy to nanny."
Your baby will not confuse you with your Nanny. She may, during
her language development, call your Nanny "Mommy" but do not jump to
the conclusion she is starting to believe this. At the same time, she
is probably calling every loving female in her life "Mommy" too.
This is just a learning period and you should know not to take this
phase personally. She will probably also call the mailman, her
pediatrician and every male stranger on the street "Daddy"
as well. During this phase, teach her the correct name or word
when she mistakenly says "Mommy." Simply say "No sweetie that's
"Nanny" and instruct your Nanny to make the same loving correction.
Do not be tempted to hire one temporary nanny after another,
thinking that if your child only receives short term care by
several different nannies that she will not come to prefer her nanny
over you. Believe it or not, this happens and it is a serious mistake.
Your child may never be able to form attachments later in life and will
not be able to form those vital bonds they so desperately need for healthy
emotional and cognitive development. In the new book, What Young
Children Need to Succeed, written by Jolene L. Roehlkepartain and
Nancy Leffert, Ph.D, the authors outline 40 assets infants need to
succeed. "Other adult relationships" is one of these assets.
They state that infants need to receive additional love and comfort
from at least one adult other than their parents! This book will help
reassure you that it is not harmful for your baby to have and love a nanny!
Experienced nannies know and understand the delicate balance they
must maintain in their relationship with their charges and employers.
The following tips to help support and encourage the natural bond between
baby and parents were offered by several professional nannies.
1. Never pit the parents against the child or put the parents
down in front of the child.
2. Never say "You are my kids." Never allow your charge to call you mommy.
3. Show them pictures of mommy and daddy and talk to them about
mommy and daddy. Let them know it is a big deal when mommy and daddy
come home.
4. When you hand the baby to parent, pass her facing away from you,
so they see where they are going.
5. Respect the parents and their role in the child's life.
6. When/if your toddler starts calling nanny by the wrong name,
treat it as all the other language lessons, give her the
correct word. To help her in all of her language expression,
it IS helpful to have photo books for her where she can
point to pictures and be given the correct word to go with them.
7. Establish "Mommy only" games and activities, special books or songs
rituals like bath time or bedtime can be reserved just for mommy
or daddy. When asked to read that special book or play that special
game, say something like, "Oh, that's your special mommy and you
book/game. Pick another one for me to read/play."
8. Gently redirect a child to his mother for comfort when you are both
available (while still letting the child know you are concerned and
that they can always count on you).
9. Keeping communications open really helps parent(s) feel
more comfortable that the Nanny's role in her child's
life is special but can never replace their special place.
In closing, I'll leave you with the words of one experienced
nanny employer. She is now employing her third nanny and had
this to say. "We have had the most perfect Nanny on this earth
with our family for the past 6 months and our kids love her
dearly. They ask about her on the weekend and really hate to
see her leave at night (actually all of us hate to see her
leave at night!). I am as crazy about her as they are so I
understand their love for her completely... Do they know who
Mom is and who their Nanny is? You betcha, but it doesn't
make them love either one of us any less.... Children can never
have too many people who love them or too many people to love
in their lives!"
My sentiments, exactly!
Deborah Smith, former nanny, mommy of one
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A NANNY CLASSIFIEDS SUCCESS STORY
Dear 4EverythingNanny, I've been a professional child care
provider for the past 5 years. I've worked in Wisconsin before
I moved to the tri-state area. My new employers are located in
Connecticut. I've tried agencies both on and off line, newspapers
etc. during my job search when I came across 4EverythingNanny.com
on the internet. It was a great find. I placed my ad on line
for free and within the same day I started to get responses from
all over the US. Within a week my present employers contacted me.
After mutual interviews, visits etc. now I have a great new job.
I'm more of a governess now since the three children are all in
school but I like a challenge. Plus I have the opportunity to
utilize my college degree. Thank you again for your service.
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RECEIVE A FREE T-SHIRT: Have you successfully found a job or a
nanny through our website? If so, send us your success story
for use in an upcoming newsletter and we'll send you a free
4EverythingNanny.com T-Shirt.
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ASK THE EXPERTS: Q & A
Q: I have a live-in nanny/help. Am I required by California
Law to pay overtime? If so under what conditions & at what rate?
A: Under household employment law, you are not required to pay
overtime to live-in employees. Live-in employees are entitled to
"straight time" for every hour they work. Live-out employees in
California must be paid overtime if they work more than 8
hours in a day and more than 40 hours in a week. (Time and a half the
hourly wage.)
Hope this helps,
Stephanie Breedlove
Breedlove & Associates
1-888-BREEDLOVE
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Boston Area Nannies
Please join us on Sunday October 15, 2000 at 11:30 AM for
a breakfast buffet to be held at Gourmelli's restaurant located
in the Copley Marriott Hotel. The price is $13.25 per person
and the location is easily accessible by public transportation
or by driving. For more information please visit our website at
www.egroups.com/group/bostonareanannies or email
larowe@mediaone.net
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I hope you have enjoyed this month's issue of Nanny Net News.
HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
See you next month.
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