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A newsletter for Parents, Nannies and Agency Owners
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Vol. 1, No. 11 September 2000
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Deborah Smith, Editor
Parents With Nannies, Inc.
Deborah@4Nanny.com
This newsletter is distributed by subscription only. If you
wish to unsubscribe, you can find instructions at the end of
this newsletter.
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IN THIS ISSUE
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> A Note from the Editor
> "HOW'S IT GOING?" An excerpt from The Nanny Book,
The Smart Parent's Guide to Hiring, Firing, and
Every Sticky Situation in Between
by Susan Carlton and Coco Myers
> NEVER, NEVER SHAKE A BABY
Article courtesy of Kidsgrowth.com
> ASK THE EXPERTS: Q & A
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"Never rush a baby.
It's only going this way once - let it enjoy the view."
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Editor's Note:
As promised in last month's newsletter we have some exciting
new features to tell you about.
MEET THE EXPERTS
Our new "Meet the Experts" page is now live and can be
viewed at http://www.4EverythingNanny.com/experts.htm. Each month
we will feature a different Q&A from our Ask the Experts forum in
this newsletter. This month's question involves the tax
implications of Nanny sharing and is answered by Stephanie
Breedlove of Breedlove & Associates.
NEW AGENCY LOCATOR
Our new Agency Locator is up and running. You can check it
out here http://www.4EverythingNanny.com/agency_directory/map.shtml.
This new directory is truly the first of its kind on the web.
No where else can you find the information you need on deposit
requirements, fees, and replacement policies. This new feature
will undoubtedly become a favorite among our visitors. If you
have used an Agency in the past that you would recommend, please
make sure they know about our free listing service. They will
not want to miss this free opportunity to tell thousands of
parents and nannies about their services.
FREE ADS FOR NANNIES
We're very excited to announce that Nannies can now post their
resumes on our Classifieds page for FREE. If you are a Nanny and
are looking for a new job, place your FREE 30 day ad on
NannyClassifieds.com or by using the Classifieds page at
4EverythingNanny.com. Be sure to select "Nanny - Resumes"
when placing your ad.
RECEIVE A FREE T-SHIRT: Have you successfully found a job or a
nanny through our website? If so, send us your success story
for use in an upcoming newsletter and we'll send you a free
4EverythingNanny.com T-Shirt.
THE WINNERS OF THE "Nannies Make the World a Better Place"
SWEATSHIRT ARE: Erica English of CT and Robbyn Marchesani of PA.
Congratulations ladies. Your sweatshirts are on their way!
SEPTEMBER SWEEPSTAKES
Enter to Win a Free "Farm Fun Series" Activity Set
courtesy of FUNFELT.com
This special collection teaches preschoolers math, science,
reading/writing skills, art, music, and P.E. in a group or
individual setting. There are 3 main units with a total of
9 mini-unit lessons that include fully outlined lesson plans
for the attention-getting activity, group fun, 3 center
activities, coloring pages, activity sheets, P.E. activity,
and a snack idea. Go here to enter today!
http://www.4nanny.com/Sweepstakes.htm Good Luck!
RECOMMENDED SITE
CHILDSLIFE.COM
http://www.childslife.com
Your Local Family Resource: Log on and select your region to
find a directory of local child-related businesses; calendar of
local family events; neighborhood playgroups, fun family places
to go in the area, and much more!
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HOW'S IT GOING?
An excerpt from, THE NANNY BOOK,
by Susan Carlton and Coco Myers
Presumably, as with any relationship, you know when things
are going well, when you need to work on a few areas, or when
the whole thing's simply over. Or at least you think you know.
In any case, it doesn't hurt to do a reality - or happiness -
check, corny as that sounds.
A strong indication that everything's on the right track:
You can't imagine how you'd get along without your nanny for
one week, let alone the next year. Other clues: You wax
rapturous about her to your friends, start every sentence
about her with "we're so lucky," and - the real test -
you wouldn't think twice about leaving your kid in her
care if you were to go away for any length of time. If, on
the other hand, you often find yourself fantasizing about the
"perfect" nanny, or begin coveting your friends' sitters or
reminiscing about your ex, it may be time to sit back, assess,
and think about a change.
What if you don't feel one way or the other? There's nothing
wrong with the sitter or the situation, but you're lukewarm
about it all. Sometimes just okay is perfectly fine, and it's
a matter of getting your priorities straight. Let's say the child
is happy and well taken care of, but you don't feel you're
getting enough pampering and perks. If that's the case, pause
before switching sitters - it may be more important for the child
to have the continuity of the same caregiver. But at the point
where you feel your kid isn't getting enough - enough attention,
enough social or intellectual stimulation, enough basic loving,
it's time to start looking.
To read the remainder of HOW'S IT GOING?
To
Order the Book
Copyright 1999 by Susan Carlton and Coco Myers
From THE NANNY BOOK: The Smart Parent's Guide to Hiring,
Firing, and Every Sticky Situation in Between
By Susan Carlton and Coco Myers
Reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Press, LLC
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NEVER, NEVER SHAKE A BABY
Shaken baby syndrome ---the injury that was at the center
of the trial of British au pair Louise Woodard-- does not
happen by being a little rough with a baby. It does not
happen when a well-meaning adult bounces an infant on
their knee. It happens when someone gives an infant a
good shaking to stop the baby from crying. In the past,
such punishment was considered harmless, but we now know
that the effects of mild or moderate shaking can be far
more damaging.
Shaken baby syndrome was first described in 1972 by
Pittsburgh pediatrician Dr. John Caffey, who wrote about
cases of babies who had head trauma after being shaken.
As word spread, hospital emergency rooms began noticing
similar cases, and soon "shaken baby syndrome" became a
too well-known part of the medical examiner's vocabulary.
Nationally, shaken baby syndrome reportedly causes about
300 deaths and hundreds of permanent injuries in babies
every year.
Any child can die of being violently shaken, regardless
of age. But youngsters under two and infants who are unable
to hold their heads up are most vulnerable. A baby's neck
muscles are weak and only gradually develop the strength
to control their heavy heads. If they are shaken, their
heads wobble rapidly back and forth. When the soft tissue
of the brain rebounds against the hard bones of the skull,
blood vessels break causing bleeding and swelling in the
cavity between the brain and skull. The bleeding in turn
puts pressure on the brain leading to sleepiness, swelling,
changes in behavior, irritability, vomiting, respiratory
shutdown, coma and death.
Severe or fatal damage can occur whether the baby has been
shaken once or several times. It's the force, not the number
of times the baby is shaken that matters. Many of these
children also exhibited rib fractures because of the force
of the caretaker's hands when shaking the child.
Should a child survive the shaking episode, the injuries
that can result include paralysis, blindness, deafness,
seizures, delay in normal development, loss of ability to
breathe without assistance and loss of the use of limbs or
mental retardation. Whether the youngster dies or is severely
injured depends on the severity of the shaking and the speed
in which the child receives medical treatment.
These tips are for preventing shaken infant syndrome are
supplied. The Healthy Start Coalition of Pinellas, Inc.:
·Never, never, never shake a baby or child, whether in play
or in anger.
·If you experience uncontrollable anger toward a child,
do not use physical abuse.
·Always provide support for a baby's head when holding,
playing with or transporting the child. Instruct others
who care for the infant in the proper support of the head.
·Make sure that all those who are in contact with your
infant know the dangers of shaking. This includes babysitters,
child-care personnel, even siblings who may accidentally
injure the baby in rough play if not properly warned.
·What to do if you shake the baby, either accidentally or
on purpose: Although you may feel embarrassed or guilty, it
is imperative that you get the baby to the emergency room
immediately. Bleeding inside the brain can be treated, but
only if doctors know the baby has been shaken.
·Seek the help of a counselor and attend parenting classes.
·Do not ignore the signs if you suspect child abuse in your
home or the home of someone you know.
Most cases of Shaken Baby Syndrome occur when a baby will
not stop crying. A frustrated and tired parent or caregiver
has tried everything and nothing works. Crying is the only
way a baby can tell the parents that something is wrong.
Instead of reaching the breaking point and hurting a baby,
here are some things parents or caregivers can do if they
have tried everything and the baby still is crying:
·Put the child in a safe place and leave the room for five
minutes.
·Call a friend or neighbor
·Take 10 deep breaths; then take 10 more.
·Do something for yourself; play favorite music, make a cup
of coffee or tea, exercise, take a shower, or read a magazine
or book.
·Change your activity: shake a rug, scrub a floor, throw
away unwanted trash, or clean a closet.
·Sit, close your eyes, think of a pleasant place in your
memory. Do not move for several minutes.
·Write down the ten best things about yourself
·Write down the ten best things about your child.
·Call a counselor who can help at 1-800-FLA-LOVE or the
Family Health Line at 1-800-451-2229
The sound of a crying infant can be overwhelming at times
to a parent or caregiver. The people who shake babies can
be any type of caregiver - mothers, fathers, friends,
relatives, baby-sitters, day care providers - even someone
just caring for the child for a few hours. It can happen
to families in all walks of life. Yet shaking a baby will
not make the infant stop crying but could lead to serious
injuries and even death. The best course of action a parent
or caregiver can take when overwhelmed by a crying baby is
to put the child in a safe place, such as crib, and take a
timeout for themselves. It is much better to let the baby
cry and remove yourself from the situation than do damage
to the infant.
Article courtesy of Kidsgrowth.com
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ASK THE EXPERTS: Q & A
Q: I am getting ready to share my nanny with my next door
neighbors, in my home. For simplicity, is it OK for me to
withhold the taxes, pay the social security, and unemployment
insurance taxes, etc. and for them to just add a portion of
that in to what they give me each week as their share of the
nanny's income? In other words, we don't both have to have
an employer ID number and issue her a W-2 do we?
A: According to the law, it is not ok for you to
become the household employer and have your neighbor reimburse
you for their portion of salary, taxes, etc. Although this option
seems simpler, and the taxes do get paid, it is not legal.
You are both required to establish yourselves as household
employers; pay your nanny separately; and pay
the taxes associated with your portion of the salary separately.
The real incentive for both of you to become household employers is in
the tax break. If you are the only one registered as a household
employer, the other family is not eligible for the Flexible Spending
Account - you must be registered as a household employer when you employ
a nanny in order to take advantage of this tax break. This is a tax
break of $2000 - $2500 per year (depending on your tax bracket). This
tax break is worth the hassle of becoming a household employer.
Please provide your fax number or address for additional detail on the
household employment payroll and tax process, and the associated tax
breaks.
Hope this helps,
Stephanie Breedlove
Breedlove & Associates, L.P.
www.breedlove-online.com
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I hope you have enjoyed this month's issue of Nanny Net News.
HAVE A WONDERFUL LABOR DAY WEEKEND AND START TO THE SCHOOL
YEAR!
See you next month.
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